you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
