So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
