Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
