ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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