OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think a kid would responsible me up
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
