I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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