I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
