My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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