Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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