she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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