would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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