Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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