I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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