Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
