Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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