Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
