Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
