i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
