i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
