she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
