We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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