I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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