dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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