No subtext here. People are naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
