I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
