just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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