i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
