I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
