Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
