Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
