Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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