Duck Duck Cougar?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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