weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
