Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
