Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
