It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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