She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My underwear smells like fireworks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
