How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
