she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm both gender and math confused
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
