what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
how does that bad decision feel?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
