so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Quick, to the slutcave!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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