I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
