yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
