Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
