There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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