did you get engaged???
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
