after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think I sprained my soul last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
