The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
