she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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