jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
