i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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