Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
