me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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