whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
