Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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