they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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